redfall: It’s me on my… MII 🥸 (Default)
I am writing while lying on the floor and petting my cat.
 
I’ve been thinking a lot about confessing to the girl i like.
It’s a difficult situation because the current  state we are in can’t really be named.
It seems like we are friends, yet, do friends hold hands? Or sit in each other’s shoulders?
I don’t think so. But what about her?
A drawing of us. 
I will call her M. 
 
| 12/21 M and i will go to the movies with my best friend (Pickles) and his girl.
 
We are friends since elementary. 
In the beginning of the year i was dating a girl, M and I started to get closer around this time and when i broke up with this girl i distanced myself from M, i thought our friendship was a little strange and she talked about my distance with Pickles.
Because of that, i started talking to her again, but this time we got *really* closer.
 
And now, this is my situation;
I think i have feelings for her, and maybe — just maybe, she feels the same. 
Yesterday was the last day of school and because i was in doubt about her feelings, i  tried to get physically CLOSER to her
 
I say this way because we already touch a lot, especially *me*.
 
Due to this, people started to ask:
A guyare you dating her?
Me. no! we just friends.
 
After that, she said:
 
Myeah, we are friends.
 
Maybe i shoulded have waited for her answer. But knowing her, she would’ve awswered the same way.
 
It’s a little bit rare for her to make the first move when it comes to physical touch. She never reacts badly, but she also doesn’t react well: she just doesn’t react. She just stays there, and I feel like a… monster. Do I contaminate her body with my touch? Maybe. Maybe it never goes away.
 
The times I remember when she seemed comfortable and actually enjoying this closeness were:
At the beginning of the year, when we started getting closer,
And besides that, when we go out with friends — she seems more relaxed about it.
 
Yesterday, the most significant touch I made was the following — and please remember that on this day I really tried to push the limits a bit, to understand what her limits were.
 
The gesture in question was putting my hand around her waist and resting my head under hers while we watched the teacher explain a game during our free time in class.

She then said:

Mwhy are you like that?

 Me.it’s comfortable 

I wait a few seconds.

Me.do you want me to move?

Moh… yeah. my head hurts.

 

She had already said before that she had a headache. But what if that was an excuse? Is that her limit?

 

When we take pictures, she always rests on my shoulder or on my chest. But that’s the thing — what if, for her, all of this is just friendship?

I saw M with her younger sister one day when her sister’s school visited ours. She held her sister’s hand while talking, in the same way she does with me. Is it just friendship?

 

I talked to M about why I had distanced myself from her — it was because of some things she did — and she cried and apologized many times. So, the next day — which was yesterday — she was closer to me. Close enough that a staff member at school commented:

 

what happened today? you two were so close. you really looked like a couple, more than on other days.

 

Unfortunately, a school full of teenage idiots = gossip. And yes, we became gossip.

Since I’m not someone very pleasant to look at, the gossip was:

“He likes her. She doesn’t like him.”

Am I really that ugly?

 

12/21 I am going to the movies. Should I confess? Does she likes me? 

 

I don’t know if I managed to express my ideas well. If anyone reads this and has questions about the way she acts, please send them.

I really need help.

Yeah…

LOSER.


redfall: It’s me on my… MII 🥸 (Default)
Here in my city, almost every year we have a competition with different teams based on the area you live in.
The teams are: Blue, Green, White and YELLOW meow!
(I am on yellow).

It has been like 40 years since the competition last happened, and the comeback was this year. Pretty fun, right?
Yeah, would be if I was into sports — which, I am not. So, I didn’t pay much attention to it until yesterday, when my uncles called me once more to watch the game of the night, because my uncles are addicted into competitions and I didn’t want to disappoint them.
It would be cool, IF the game wasn’t “S P E L I N G - C O M P E T I T I O N”.

Unfortunately I had already said yes…

this is a picture of me on the car:
me on the car
When we arrived, it was a combination of old ladies, no cool food, strange teenagers and… well, old ladies.
I thought I would be a very boring game, but those nerd kids proved me wrong — not trying to be rude, but they were much dumber than Sheldon.
And it was especially fun because they committed a lot of mistakes, which drove those old ladies into madness. I can’t express how funny it was seeing them competing for every letter that came out of those kids’ mouth.

old lady • ITS “T” NOT “I”!!!!

a picture of the place:

place
Back home, I was EXHAUSTED. So I just got some sleep. Actually, that’s the reason I didn’t post yesterday.

So, I guess I’m sorry for this [personal profile] thedumbopt_imist

 


Also, to end the post I want to show a song that I am writing to my best friend, AKA

pickles.
He seems to be a little sad those days, I think maybe it’s related to the girl he is in love with.


That’s the piano — in progress

https://filebin.net/b3n5tizpcvio3tkj/PICKLES-demo001.mp3


And the lyrics — also in progress, I promise it’s gonna get better (I hope)





Pouring rain making you think,
How you’d wish,
To be less selfish,
How it recalls me,
About this malfunction of yours,
Always pondering,
Always wondering,
Till you realize,
The rain its gone,
So it’s the sun,
So it’s love,
So it’s love,
How could be,
You gave so much,
And theres nothing now,
In this fire,
Whats the point of giving?
In this fire,
If you can’t recive back,
In this fire, in this fire heart,
I want you to recive too,
From a fire heart, a fire heart,
But you can’t conceive,

Pouring rain making you think,
How you’d wish,
To be less selfish,
Less senvite, less sad,
How can I say,
It recalls me,
About this malfunction of yours,
Always pondering,
Always wondering,
What’s the point of living for another soul?
Till you realize,
The rain its gone,
So it’s the sun,
So it’s your love.

posted 11:40 PM of my country 

redfall: It’s me on my… MII 🥸 (Default)
Hey people! I literatelly just created this account. I’ve never used a forum before and i just wanted somenthing new, cause i ALWAYS wanted to try this. Anyway… I am posting this because i need some tips: What should i try here? HOW to use this site? What can I poste here — can a post THIS?
Really, i need help ;c

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redfall: It’s me on my… MII 🥸 (Default)
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